You Can't Write Your Book by Trying to Be Someone Else

The strange paradox of trying to be someone else in order to be yourself—and why the masks have to come off before the real book can be written and you can find your writing voice.

I have felt for over two decades that I've been holding myself back.

I mentioned it in a recent letter, and it's still lingering in the back of my mind—sitting there as a fundamental shift in how I move through the world. Because in this realization, I recognized something so silly to even say out loud that the logic of it is baffling.

I found that I was trying to be someone else in order to be myself.

I know. I know… I know.

You don't need to tell me how illogical that reads. Trying to be someone else in order to be myself? But truly, that's what I recognized.

The version of me I've always known

I have a very clear vision of who I am. I know her, intimately. I adore her. She's fantastic. I've known her since I was at least five years old.

When things in life go sideways, I've always said—in my head and out loud—"We're okay." We. There has always been me and then her, though somehow we're the same person. (Mind-bending. Don't get me started.)

Here's how it played out in my professional life: I thought that in order to be her, I needed to be someone else. As though who I'd always known myself to be wasn't quite enough to also be the bigger version. So I thought I had to mold and shape myself into a vision—not even my own—of what I'd need to do and who I'd need to be.

Somewhere along the way, I internalized the idea that I needed to be someone else to be myself.

And working my way through that zigzag logic is exactly what brought me here, to the point of this very piece.

The book you set out to write is never the book that gets published

I say this to every single author we work with. There is no exception.

The reason is that, through the writing process, we create a space so safe that you're able to be more vulnerable on the page. You're able to go beneath the surface and find what truly needs to be written.

But before we reach that gorgeous sweet spot, there's a murkiness to move through first: the murkiness of trying to be someone you're not.

We all do it to some degree. We're all wearing masks at some point. But writing a book—especially a story-driven one that touches your lived experience—requires the masks to come off. For you as the writer. For me as your guide. For your reader.

You cannot be someone else when you're trying to be yourself.

Your book is you

Your book is your story. Your experiences. Your expertise. Your memories. Your insights. Your reflections. Your lessons.

It is you.

So in order to write the book that deserves to be written, the real you has to come forward. Not the polished, mask-on version you think a "proper author" is supposed to be. The actual one.

And in the most beautifully human thing imaginable, my own weebling and wobbling through this illogical revelation will only create more camaraderie, empathy, and compassion in the writing process when we work on your book together.

What a remarkable thing that will be when it happens.

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Writing a story-driven book means letting the masks come off. We hold that space with care—and we don't ask you to be anyone but yourself. If you're ready to write the real one, come and find us.

If this resonated, there's more where it came from. Each week I send personal notes to writers around the world — the honest, masks-off kind, just like this one. They reach my list before they appear anywhere else. Come and read them first — sign up here. Michelle Ireland, founder of Soul Spark Publishing