The Writer You've Always Known You Could Be Is Already You

You don't have to become a writer. You already are one. One the future self you've known since childhood—and why you keep her waiting in the wings. If you've always wanted to write a book, keep reading.

I have this really strong vision of who I am. I have known her intimately since I was five years old.

I recall flying far too high on a swing, dark hair blowing behind me, feet pumping forcefully to go higher, higher, higher—and thinking that the world really was my oyster. I knew it deep in my core.

Years later, I got hired for a position I was truly unqualified for and probably a fair bit too young for, simply because at the interview, when they asked me where I saw myself in ten years, I said, "CEO of a major international corporation"—and then smiled broadly, because I knew it to be true.

She isn't someone you become. She's someone you already are.

When I envision my "future self," she's me. Just a bit more… more, perhaps. She's me on my most hormone-balanced day, after nine hours of sleep, and after some yoga and meditation.

The point is, she is me. Full stop.

And yet.

When I start each day, she's in the background, rarely the foreground (even after nine hours of sleep). She's deep within me, but for some reason I don't let her out. She's there in sparks and bursts—on calls with authors, when I'm writing, when I'm running the business. But the rest of the time, she gets lovingly pushed back to wait.

Until what, I haven't a clue.

Perhaps you can relate.

Perhaps you've always known yourself to be a writer. Perhaps you've envisioned yourself writing and publishing a book. Perhaps you had a moment as a child when you knew deep in your core that you'd be an author one day. Perhaps it's what you see when you picture your future self.

And yet—like me—you're holding her back a bit. Waiting for some arbitrary something in the future that gives that part of you permission to come to the foreground.

Here's what I've come to believe, after twenty years of building things and a good while spent over-thinking this exact knot: the waiting isn't protecting anything. The version of you who writes the book isn't more qualified, more rested, more ready. She's just allowed. The only thing standing between the writer in the background and the writer in the foreground is the decision to stop asking her to wait.

What if you let her out?

Not someday. Not when the kids are older, or the business is steadier, or you've finally read all the books on craft. Those are real things, and they matter. But none of them is the gate you think it is.

The author you imagine is not a stranger you have to grow into. She's the one who's been pumping her legs on the swing this whole time, going higher, higher, higher, certain the world is her oyster.

Wouldn't it be the most amazing thing to watch happen—to see just what's possible if only you let her out to play?

You don't have to become a writer. You already are one. The only thing left is to stop asking her to wait.

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If your book has been waiting in the background, this is your invitation to bring it forward. At Soul Spark Publishing, we help authors write the story they've always known was theirs. If that's you, come and say hello.

If you liked this, you'll like my weekly notes. I write to authors around the world about writing and the books they want to make — honest, personal letters, just like this one. My list gets them first, before they appear anywhere else. Come and join us — sign up here. Michelle Ireland, founder of Soul Spark Publishing